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  1. That being said, believe this: The first boss is a monstrously huge man wearing a metal sphere for a codpiece.

  2. It's then up to you have to navigate through the empty streets and return the money to your pimp's walk-up window. We should just be happy that an octopus demon didn't slither into the room and take a crap on her forehead.

  3. Then there's a video of her dancing. The Yakyuken Special is like buying a stack of porno and only letting yourself read it if you can call a coin-flip 50 times in a row.

  4. When you find a customer, the game switches to an action sequence of you riding his throbbing Dune Buggy in his unfurnished apartment.

  5. So if you're still trying to solve the mystery that the bad graphics have given us, you're either a rescue worker carrying a fire hose and airlifting a woman out mouth-first with your penis, or you have double the normal amount of reproductive organs, one of them a handle and the other a fire extinguisher. Every time I heard it I would want to play Tetris," she said.

  6. There are times where you swear they have no idea that getting naked and dancing on a Sega Saturn is naughty. You have actual feelings and feel like you emotionally connect with the objects, I've never been attracted to humans. Some of these girls are at least half donkey.

  7. Her near-food experience didn't make her any less cock crazy, so she'll grab your previously unused, non-squirting rod with her mouth and hold on with her teeth as you fly away.

  8. The Yakyuken Special is like buying a stack of porno and only letting yourself read it if you can call a coin-flip 50 times in a row. Press the joystick up to shift your Hovercraft to the tip of his Fire Truck, then press the joystick down to slide your Rollerskate back down to the base of his Speedboat. That doesn't make it less hot.

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